The Bonding Benefits of Infant Massage

Most parents expect to feel an instant bond with their baby, but the reality is that many parents can experience feelings of inadequacy and isolation as they struggle to cope with the demands of their new little stranger.

Not bonding with your baby right away is perfectly normal – bonding should be a gradual process. But poor bonding can affect your baby’s long-term behaviour and development, and can wreak havoc with your mental health. Struggling to find a bond with your baby can leave you feeling guilty and stressed, and will make parenting all the more challenging.

Why is the bond not always there?

There are a number of reasons why parents may not feel an instantaneous bond with their newborn. These include a tough pregnancy, traumatic birth, feeding issues, sleep issues, and post natal depression. Many simply don’t know how to hold their baby and fear misreading cues or cries. Others might find the role of parenting more demanding than they thought it would be, or they could be holding on to unresolved baggage from their own childhood.

Why is a bond so important?

Bonding is the bedrock of a baby’s later emotional development, and without a secure emotional connection from a very young age a baby is likely to face relationship challenges later in life. They may find they struggle to make a bond with their own future children.

Bonding is the intense attachment that develops between a baby and its parents and, without it, parents may struggle to offer the love, affection, support and protection that will foster a sense of security and positive self-esteem. But bonding is a process – a byproduct of everyday caregiving. It takes time and effort to achieve.

How can you encourage bonding?

The bonding period for you and your baby can start long before their birth and can be helped along by a number of processes that include:

• breastfeeding
• eye contact
• singing and talking
• cuddling
• routine
• books
• baths
• play
• observation
• swaying to music
• changing nappies

In many traditional cultures, baby massage is seen as an essential part of bonding. Some treat massage as essential as feeding, bathing and changing. In Australia, doctors, midwives and other health professionals are increasingly recommending baby massage as a way to strengthen the bonding experience.

How baby massage encourages bonding

Touch is a very powerful element in human bonding, and infant massage encompasses and supports this vital aspect. Massage can be helpful in encouraging the connection between parent and child, facilitating a deeper understanding, integration, and connection as baby grows. Some families have found that massaging their baby is particularly helpful in enhancing the bond with children with special needs.

Massage also gives fathers a chance to connect and interact with their child on a deeper level than the usual day-to-day fathering responsibilities. Fathers are strongly encouraged to attend baby massage classes, and many classes structure themselves specifically for fathers wanting to increase a bond with their children.

Massage is one of life’s simple pleasures, and research has shown that baby massage can help interaction in a number of ways. It provides all the essential indicators of intimate parent-infant bonding and attachment – eye-to-eye contact, touch, voice, smell, movement, and thermal regulation. Interaction benefits include:

• promotion of bonding and secure attachment
• verbal/non verbal communication
• development of trust and confidence
• feelings of love, respect and of being valued
• increased relaxation for both parent and baby
• quality time
• better relationships with others
• increased confidence in baby handling

As well as interaction benefits, baby massage can stimulate:

• circulatory and digestive systems
• hormonal and immune systems
• coordination and balance
• mind and body awareness
• learning and concentration
• muscular development and growth
• midline orientation
• weight gain
• neurons in the brain to branch out to encompass other neurons

It can relieve:

• gas and colic
• growing pains and muscular tension
• constipation
• teething discomfort
• cramps
• pain
• physical and emotional stress

And it can promote:

• improved sleep
• calmness
• faster settling
• increased flexibility and muscle tone
• reduction in stress hormones
• release of serotonin
• a healthy immune system
• eye contact
• peaceful/longer sleep
• the feelings of love and cherishment
• self settling

How to learn baby massage

Learning infant massage is easy with a certified educator that will guide you through each stroke. While any soothing touch on your baby is beneficial, learning the art of infant massage from a professional is highly recommended. To discover a class near you, talk to your health professional, visit your local community health centre or search the online listings at Infant Massage Australia.

Baby massage is usually taught within a group environment, however, private classes are available. Either way, sessions usually run over 3-5 weeks, so that parents can learn the strokes gradually and to allow babies time to adjust to being massaged.

Massage can also be adapted to suit children of all ages, and it is never too late to introduce massage. Massage is one of the most gratifying experiences that your baby or child can enjoy, and is one of the most effective ways you can support healthy growth and emotional development. Massage is a beautiful and simple way to express your love for your baby and strengthen your ever-lasting bond.

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